Blind
by noragamii
Summary: After Roy lost his sight, Riza visited him everyday and slowly the feelings that may have been there all along started to reveal themselves. Royai.


It was dark, so dark. As many times as Roy blinked his eyes, he couldn't seem to get rid of that cloud that was covering his vision.

"Is this a nightmare?" He wondered aloud; he hadn't had nightmares since the war.

"Roy? Roy, are you awake?"

The sweet voice cut through the darkness, instantly lifting his spirits.

"Riza? Is that you? Why are you in my nightmare?"

"Oh god. Roy this….isn't a nightmare," her voice sounded choked. Why? What was wrong? Roy desperately wanted to wake up, but he couldn't seem to get his eyes to open.

And than it hit him. The fight, his vision…this wasn't a nightmare. It was reality, and it was much, much worse than any nightmare.

It was strange. He could feel the warmth of the sun on his face, but he couldn't see its rays. He could picture it in his mind, the way the golden beams would filter through the curtain, casting a glow on the room.

Sometimes he would close his eyes for a moment and then open them, foolishly hoping that maybe this was just a trick. Maybe if he squeezed his eyes shut for just a _moment_ longer, when they opened he would be able to see the sun again.

Every time it didn't work, he felt his heart break more. He really was a fool.

He would be lying if he said it got easier. But everyday, Riza would come in and he coped. Her voice wasn't the same as seeing the sun again or the sky, but it brought a similar comfort.

Usually she would come in and just talk about nothing. How her day went, what she ate for breakfast. Sometimes she would describe things, like what the sky looked like or the color of the flowers on his bedside table. He liked the sound of her voice; he let it wash over him and clear his mind of all the sad thoughts that plagued him.

"Riza?"

She paused when he said her name, interrupting her dialogue on how the leaves outside were starting to change. "Yeah?"

"Um, this might sound weird but…do you still look the same?"

She chuckled and Roy could feel his face heating up. He wasn't trying to be weird; he just missed his friend's face. It was painful not being able to see her anymore.

"Sorry, I guess that was kind of an awkward question…"

"No! I understand that you would want to know. Um, well nothing's too different I guess. I wear my hair down more, but that's about it."

Roy couldn't help the small smile that crept onto his face. It was reassuring, knowing that his friend hadn't changed too much.

"I always liked your hair down."

Riza gave a quiet chuckle. "Yeah? Here."

Roy was surprised by the sudden placement of something in his hand.

"Is this your…hair?" He was a bit confused as to why he was being allowed to touch it.

"Oh. Yeah," she pulled away quickly and Roy was surprised at the sadness he felt at the absence of the silkiness in his hand., "sorry. That was weird. I just wanted to you to at least be able to feel your surroundings, since, you know…"

"Wait!" Roy got quiet. "That was nice."

Her hair was placed in his hand again, and he let himself enjoy the smoothness of it, the way it wove through his fingers like water. They sat like that for who knows how long, and even though they weren't talking, it was the happiest Roy had been in a while.

"So you liked touching my hair, huh?" Riza had come back the next day, not quite as quiet and gentle as she had been yesterday.

"Yes, I did!" Roy could feel the heat rising to his cheeks. He hated himself for getting so flustered around her. "Anyway, you're the one who offered." He huffed and turned his head to the side.

She ruffled his hair and laughed. "Silly, I'm just teasing! Don't act like a little kid, all huffy."

Roy gave up his annoyed façade, letting the huge smile he had been holding back stretch across his face. For a moment everything felt perfectly normal again, as if the blindness had never happened, and he saw Riza's face flash through his memories.

And, of course, as quickly as it came it was gone, replaced by that empty feeling that he had gotten so accustomed to, like he might never be whole again.

It got very quiet and he could practically feel Riza's eyes burning into him with worry. He was about to open his mouth to say something, reassure her, or break the awkward silence, but she stopped him.

Her hand was cool and strong in his and it shut him up immediately. He instinctively gripped it tighter.

"Riza?"

"I figured, since you liked touching my hair, why not my hand?"

He didn't understand how she could sound so calm when saying that, while meanwhile Roy felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest. He had never been affected like this before, and it was unnerving.

"Yeah. Uh…good idea."

He let himself run his fingers over her knuckles and palms, memorizing the dips and peaks of her hand and drawing them in his mind. He had known Riza for years, yet this was the most intimate they had ever been with each other.

They sat like that for a while, and Roy eventually found himself no longer trying to form a picture in is mind, but simply enjoyed touching her and the fact that she was there next to him.

That night Roy heard Riza's voice and was thrilled when he found that his sight had come back and he could see her again. Until he realized that it wasn't his Lieutenant in front of him but the Furher, and at his feet was the bloody body of Riza. Roy screamed and screamed until he woke up in a cold sweat.

That night he sat for a very long time wondering what in the world could be going on in his mind.

"Roy? How are you?"

At the sound of her voice, Roy's hand instinctively reached out toward her and was quickly met by her own. He couldn't help his increase in happiness as soon as his hand was wrapped around hers.

"I've been better…I had a really weird dream last night."

"Oh no. Do you want to talk about it?"

Roy paused. He had always held a position of authority over Riza, and had done his best to hide fear, pain, or weakness from her in general. He never wanted her to worry about him, he supposed. But now, after losing his sight, and all the help Riza had given him, it was the least he could do to open up to her. It wasn't like he could get any more vulnerable at this point, anyway.

"Um, sure. Well, it started out with me hearing your voice. And then suddenly, my sight came back and it was amazing! Until I realized that it wasn't you, but Bradley in front of me. And, the worst part, you were at his feet. You were, uh, dead."

Saying out loud made Roy even more self conscious of how personal this dream was.

"Sorry if that was weird. I guess it's cause I've been seeing so much of you lately. Or, not _seeing_," he chuckled awkwardly.

He felt Riza moving his hand in hers up, to where he didn't know, until he touched something soft and smooth.

"Roy…it's ok. I'm here, see?"

Her voice had become so very gentle and with shock Roy realized that the surface he was touching was her face.

"Riza…"

"You were always so reserved…and now, to have you open up to me like that, you don't know what it means to me. You're so strong Roy, after all of this, but please, I want to take care of you. Just as you have taken care of me all these years."

Roy was nearly speechless. Riza had never shown this sort of emotion around him ever, not in the many, many years he'd known her.

"Riza, it's ok. You don't have to-"

He would have continued if not for the wetness he felt against his finger.

"You're so strong, sir! You never deserved this. I should have protected you," Riza's voice sounded choked.

Roy felt another drop of wetness against his finger, and this time he brushed it away gently. Had she been holding this back all this time?

"Riza, I had no idea you felt this way. But really, I'm fine! I mean, it's hard sometimes, but with you coming in here everyday, you have no idea how much easier that has made this whole thing. "

It was quiet for a moment and Roy felt her release his hand. He freaked out for a moment. Had he said something wrong? Something to upset her more? But he didn't have to worry long…

…Because her lips were pressed against his, soft, a little damp from crying, and sweet. Sweeter than Roy had ever thought his tough Lieutenant's could be. And just like that Roy realized what had been happening all this time, his reactions to touching her, the nightmare. Perhaps, perhaps this is what he had wanted all along.

And just as he had realized the truth of his feelings, she released, so quickly that he couldn't respond to the kiss.

'Forgive me," she muttered and he heard her get up, leave the room quickly, and the whole time all he could think was 'call to her you fool!' but his mouth wouldn't move.

She didn't come the next day, or the next. Time melted together, Roy didn't know how long it had been since she had been with him.

All he knew was that his days had meant nothing without her there. And he _desperately_ wanted her with him.

The sound of his door opening woke him that night, and he prepared his finger to snap and burn away whatever intruder might be meaning to harm him.

"Who's there?"

No answer.

"I swear, I will burn you. You have five seconds to tell me who's there. Five, four-"

"Roy."

He felt his body relax, but at the same time his heart suddenly doubled in speed. He wondered if this was another one of his dreams. Or maybe, if he was lucky, this was real.

"Riza? Is that really you?"

"Yeah…it's me. I'm sorry it's been so long. I needed some time to think."

"Some time to think? Woman, you kissed me and then ran out of here!"

He was a little annoyed, but that hardly compared to his excitement that she had come back.

"Yes, yes, I know. I'm really, really sorry for that. I know it was probably uncomfortable for you. But, since my true feelings are as clear as day now, maybe we could talk about it?"

Oh. She thought he didn't like the kiss. She thought he didn't have feelings for her.

"Riza, sit next to me."

"Oh! Um, ok," she said uncertainly and he heard her sit heavily in the chair next to his bed.

"Give me your hand."

Riza did so wordlessly, if she was confused she didn't show it, and Roy used her hand to guide his hand to her face. He let himself enjoy her skin for a moment, and then swiftly pulled her face down to his and kissed her.

"Roy!" She gasped, pulling back quickly. Roy felt his heart break a little; he thought she would return his action.

"Riza, don't you see what I'm trying to show you? I didn'tdislike the kiss, nor was it unwelcome. I _loved _it. All I could think about, for who knows how long after you left me in the dust, was you! And the kiss, and when I could do it again."

He felt her face stretch into a smile underneath his hand; he took that as her response, and once again pulled her down to his mouth.

This time she responded, moving her mouth against his as if this was all she had ever wanted from him. He wondered if, maybe, this is what he had wanted all this time too.

They pulled away, foreheads still pressed together, and he could practically see Riza's face in that moment, lit up and beautiful as it always was, but he had been too blind to see until now.

Riza came back each day after that without fail, and together her and Roy made up for all the kisses they should have shared, wanted to share, but never did. With her lips against his, Roy thought that maybe his blindness had turned out for the better.


End file.
